So…
Last night phone refused to charge. Tried multiple chargers/cables. Nada.
Still refused to charge this morning. Said "f*** this" and ordered new phone to arrive Wed/Thurs.
Came to work, still no go. Plugged phone into USB-C connector to the dock for my laptop, because why the hell not. Started charging. Unplugged, plugged into charger. Still charging.
Still glad I ordered new phone since there's obviously a problem and I can't be without one for any length of time, but WTF?